Okay, so here we go.


My name is Michael Grant. I’m twenty-two years old and just started my senior year at Elon University. So what do I seek to achieve with this blog? It’s hard to say really. I’ve been using Facebook for the past three years to post monthly rants on things that anger me, piss me off, and just plain irk me. It wasn’t until this summer I considered blogging. I have had many people over the years tell me that I should try it, but I was never onboard. But then a friend of mine, who is a graduate student, told me that since I was so close to the professional world, not only would I have a venue to air my anger, but also a forum to show that I already have work out in the great, wild world.

So I issue a mission statement. Right here, right now:

This blog could be many things; it could funny, it could amusing, it could be tragic. I’ m not making any promises on it being any of those things. But I do promise that I’m sticking to my guns. Whatever this thing will be, it will be me. I have a huge problem with finishing things, so I want to use things to produce consistent work.

Here are seven important facts about me (if you don’t know me) and this blog:

1. My name is Grant. While this may seem like a logical fallacy because I just wrote at the top of this post, “My name is Michael Grant.” That is where you are wrong. Everybody has been calling me Grant since high school, it just kinda stuck. Grant is my super, lame pseudonym and I love it to death.

2. I went to high school in England. I bring this up, because the years I spent there seemed to cancel out anything that came before it. So if I ever write some weird bit of slang, blame on it on the bloody Brits.

3. Some people have friendly acquitances known as “friends”. I myself have some these mythological “friends”. However I know for a fact that they would almost surely disapprove of me spilling stuff about them on the web. So I will be referring to them all through nicknames. Keep in mind, I don’t call these people by these names. I’m not that fucked up in the head. But this is a measure taken to ensure their privacy, their happiness, and above all, their sanity.

4. I am a Knicks fan. So I truly believe thorough an obvious cloud of obscene denial, that Patrick Ewing was the best center of the late 80’s and 90’s. Yes, I know there was The Dream, The Admiral, Shaq, and even The Dunking Dutchman. But every true sports fan needs to feel that the people on their team were born “more special” then others. That said, the Knicks suck this decade and have brought me to tears on multiple occasions.

5. This is a contingency plan, but its a plan that needs to be in order. I think it completely within the realm of possibilty that I may attempt to blog while I am blackout drunk. Not that I go into my nightlife planning to be that drunk, but it could certainly happen. In which case, I reserve the right to take down any blackout post I make within twelve hours of posting it. If it stays longer then twelve hours, I have to leave it up there. This should keep things interesting.

6. The larget dinosaur to ever be discovered is Amphicoelias. This has nothing to do with me. But it needs to be known.

7. If you haven’t figured this out, sometimes I say some really fucking, ridiculous shit. I have no why, but sometimes, a crazy idea pops into my head and I just say it. Think I’m kidding? Last week in my first poetry class, the professor asked me what I was called. I responded, “Some people call me the space cowboy. Some people call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice. Wha-wow.” The guy won’t stop calling me the “gangster of love” now. I was embrassed the instant after I realized I just verbalized an electic guitar mimicing a wolf whistle.

So yeah, that’s me. Hope you all enjoy this.


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