The middle of insanity


Okay, I’ll admit that I miss having cable television. Jack Danger keeps bugging me about this, saying that we would have a much higher quality of life with the pleasures of cable. But since we spend so much of our time watching movies and playing video games. It doesn’t seem like there is any real reason to get it. But then there are days like today, where the Giants shut out the Buccaneers and limited them to eighty-six offensive yards. I’d want to see that, I’d love to my pro football team playing really well. That and I can avoid seeing movies like Total Recall.

Dear lord, That was a terrible movie. You see last night I was hanging out around the APG. For future reference, the APG is our apartment. If you want to know why, ask me. I might even answer. Anyway I was lounging out at the APG with Kryden, Rage, Jack Danger, “The Critic”, “Ginger”, and “Do Not Want”. We were all chilling out as Do Not Want brought over a movie about killer clowns from outer space. After a huge technical snafu, we all decided it would be better to stick with a DVD. Keep in mind everyone in the room was an extremely opinionated individual who are hard to please and make their choices through quality, and then Kryden sat down. Even then, somehow the choices came down to Total Recall and the Adam West Batman movie. How the fuck that happened? No bloody clue. The majority went with the lesser of two evils.

My god, if you haven’t seen Total Recall…don’t. It is a travesty, it is an insult to movies goers everywhere. I’m not sure what effect it had when it came out in 1991, but trust me when I say that this film has not aged well. The special effects have look like they were made by a high school student, keep in mind, the film won an honorary award for special effects. Now I knew the standard of acting would be low, this is an Arnold movie after all, but I had no idea that it would be just as pitiful as it was. The director of Total Recall was Paul Verhoeven, the Dutch guy who directed Starship Troopers. So you know that this film is in the hands of someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the acting. Oh boy, it’s so wooden, so corny. Blah!

But the worst part about this film is the violence, people die at all times over the course of this movie. For no reason other then to show excessive force. One of my favorites was a scene where soldiers are trying to kill Arnold on an escalator. The soldiers accidently shoot an innocent person in front of Arnold. He dies. Arnold then picks up the dude’s corpse and uses it as a flesh shield. The corpse absorbs, no joke, at least sixty bullets without a scratch to Arnold’s name. People don’t just die in this movie, they are humiliated through death.

Jack Danger also bought Halo 3: ODST last night. He stayed up till six in the morning to beat the game. I myself have never understood paying sixty dollars for a game that I would beat in one day. But it seems like the new multiplayer option, Firefight, a huge time hog, is going to be eating away hours on our Xbox for weeks to come. Who says we need cable?


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