Filming in a cornfield- a primer

26Oct09

This weekend was among the most stressful weekend of my life. If you live anywhere within the city limits of Burlington, North Carolina and meet someone who knows me by extension, they will probably tell you have stressed that I have been this weekend. My sitting room has turned into a perpetual rock concert thanks to Kryden’s purchase of the Beatles Rock Band in addition to Rock Band 2. I lost my bear hat at Burner’s place(where Rage and I controlled the pong table, owned it) . Kryden’s sister is visiting, so that’s another person under our roof. Not only that, but Jack Danger needs a clear definition of what constitutes an adventure, but more on that later. Any way you slice it, it was a rough one.

The majority of my stress was focused on an all day shoot for Moonshine in a cornfield on a Sunday. I thought that I had not much to do on this one, thinking that an outdoor shoot didn’t require lights. Boy was I wrong. So here is the quintessential guide for filming in a corn field.

1. Keep track of the weather- This is an essential part to any type of outdoor shoot. This way you can get the necessary lighting and mood. For example, the weather reports said that it would rain on Saturday, so we shot on a Sunday. Though the ground was still quite wet.

2. Bring a fleece- That way you won’t be as cold as a dinosaur in Wisconsin. Like me. It was a nice, wet cold. So it constantly felt like that I was just stepping out of an unheated pool.

3. Make sure the corn is taller enough to cover a person- That way the actor who has to run around naked for a scene won’t be showing his most precious artifacts to every man, woman, and child in the area. Perhaps the only person who was more uncomfortable then me. Don’t envy that task.

4. Find out what kind of field your using- So that way, you don’t wind up with a fairly popular corn maze, instead of a proper field. I spent so much time having to redirect various people so that they wouldn’t walk into a shot. Completely different job then lighting a sorority house.

5. Always assign the transportation line-ups correctly- That way you aren’t using the car of someone who is mostly deaf in their right eye and don’t have someone driving on a suspended license. I can’t make this shit up. I personally drove up with Jack Danger driving. Which is probably a curse, because Jackie D has almost no sense of direction. Screw that, Jack has no sense of direction and no sense of self-preservation on the roads. I’m amazed we found our way there.

6. Always choose the right place to eat- Jack and I went for lunch at a KFC/Taco Bell. Only the best for us isn’t it. This was the worst place ever. Jack ordered our food at the drive-thru, which was like speaking German with a Himba tribesman. Then Jack had a classic moment where he got impatient and canceled the order. Since he didn’t hear a response, he drove up to the window and expected our food. They charged us about seven dollars and then had nothing to give us. So they more or less robbed us. And we had to drive off, because they needed us back on set.

7. The Yankees are in the World Series again- Victory.

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