I am a man without class


Senioritis, it’s a social disease that affects many like myself. People who are so close to the end of their time at school and looking forward to getting out, so they stop caring about the smaller things. Take me for example, I don’t think I touched a drop of alcohol on a weekday during my first three years of college. Now I’ve been known to have a beer during quiz night or at a tex-mex place, okay so that’s not truly throwing caution into the wind, but then again I have been slipping in one respect, my class conduct. I have lost my filter. There is almost nothing I won’t say during class, I’m not even kidding. Thank the lord I’m not a white supremacist or something, because by now I surely would have been thrown out of this school if that were the case.

Now I find everything to fair game in class. I have a writing class in a computer lab which is split into four five-person pods. I am completely convinced that I have made the other four members of my pod dumber just by being there. This all started back in September when we had to define a list of vocabulary terms. You know like high schoolers, so just like high school, I decided not to take it seriously. One of our words was “trivium”, I said aloud, “Trivium, sounds like a metal band.” One of my group mates got curious and decided to look it up. Sure enough, Trivium is an American speed metal band. But that turned into the point of no return.

Since then, our pod has been the outcast pod. Nobody wants to work with us, because we just say stupid stuff all the time. Our computers are hooked up to huge monitors in the lab, so each member of the group could toggle their own computer screen could be displayed. So one time, I wasn’t paying attention, so I googled pictures of Cookie Monster. I found a good one of him, which I set to the wallpaper of my desktop in a tile formation. My teacher didn’t notice that I was doing this. So then I switched my monitor on to the screens. Now there it was, on a huge screen, about sixty identical pictures of the big blue guy. My teacher paused, stopped, and just stared for five seconds, before looking at me and continuing.

If anyone from my class is reading this, I’m sorry for lowering your collective IQ. Please don’t hate me, I’m just trying to preserve your sanity.


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