Tiger-fire Diamond Princess!

17Nov09

Dear readers, (all three of you)

It has risen to my attention that I have failed you. I have failed you. My failure can’t be measured by any system of measurement this side of the Atlantic Ocean, too oddball. We need the fucking metric system here right now! I said now God damn it all! Now here’s why I have failed you…I have forgotten something terrible.

Now what is it that I have forgotten you ask? I say shut the hell up while your betters are talking you Anglo-German, it’s not our fault we came late to this party, they still had potatoes, why leave? It’s because I forgot to code name and add one crucial member of this constantly confusing group of individuals I term, “My Friends”.

This is by no means an insult to a great person…a wonderful person…a great, wonderful person. I needed to brainstorm the pen name for which to call this person. So I thought the fairest way possible to determine her secret identity would be to go with the first thing that came into my head, and coincidently it came up as Tiger-fire Diamond Princess. I first thought that this was a bit over-zealous,but then another voice in my mind said that I might want to follow-through on my bargains from now on. Anyway you’re such a great, wonderful person I’m going to go log onto Facebook and leave some random message on your wall, it probably be something like, “In glades by the den, the shadows burn like ice”, why? Mostly to satisfy some childish prank personality which failed to manifest during my whole fucking childhood. I’m not even close to kidding, I just did that. If any one happens to know a psycho-analyst…yeah…

Anyway this is apologize to Tiger-Fire Diamond Princess, you are a good friend…you are a solid friend…you are a good, solid friend as well as a great, wonderful person. Tiger-Fire Diamond Princess is an invaluable cog in our free-flowing social hierarchy, whose voice is heard and appreciated. It was a terrible error to forget to reference you at an earlier time. If feelings were hurt, which I hope was not the case, this is not some terrible character assassination plot.

So Tiger-Fire Diamond Princess, welcome to the cast of the blog. Chances are like, the majority of these guys, you too will be on my back about your interpretation through this medium; which I should point out A) from one person’s perspective and B) I have been known on occasion to embellish details for humorous effect. I’m sure that this very motion put forth today will change the very course of the way this blog works on a day-to-day basis, or it won’t.

So thank you. Thank you, Tiger-fire Diamond Princess. Thank you for coming down from Kentucky with your powers to not only light large members of the Panthero family to flame, but also be a diamond princess, which a hard job I hear in this economy. God damn you, Paulson, you’ve given us all the swine flu. This is all your fault!

Later days readers (or what’s left of you?)
The guy who writes this blog

P.S. I’ve been sneaking Teddy Grahams while I sleep-walk.

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