Travel days


Well, now I’m once again back in New York. In the aftermath of one of the screwiest travel days I had ever experienced, this is coming from a man who had a Jo’burg-Heathrow flight canceled and and wound up flying home business class with a two hour lay-over in Qatar.

Yesterday, Kryden told that he would be flying home on Wednesday, so he said I would have to ask Jack Danger for a ride. One heck of a task considering that Jack Danger has the sense of direction equivalent to that of a blind, three-legged horse. But tracking down Jack proved to be an interesting quest, because we are now more or less on sleep schedules where we see each other about ten minutes everyday. This was soon rendered pointless, when Kryden told me he would now fly on Tuesday in the same terminal as myself. Weird.

Here’s the thing, Kryden wanted to park in a special lot for a reduced rate. Pretty good idea, except for the fact that he couldn’t bothered to look it up. So I did, and then wrote up the directions, this took a lot of time and energy, especially considering he was still packing. Grr. We get into his piece of rust Honda, and the first thing he does is say, “Well, I hope you can read this. Because I definitely can’t read this.” Trust me when it took every fiber of my being not to plunge my pain-causing hand (the right one) straight into his mouth and rip out an incisor to take as payment for a job I should not have had to complete. Weird.

So we get to the lot, Kryden has to be given a rundown again on what is appropriate social behavior. We hop on the shuttle bus to RDU’s Terminal 2. Kryden flirts with a good-looking girl on the bus, because it’s completely normal to do that, right Kryden? He manages to lose not only his dignity, but his cell phone on the bus. Weird.

So check through airport security goes well, apart from the fact that I accidentally left about 200 ml of water in my Elon Nalgene. So I had to go through the ten minute process of emptying the bottle, schmoozing the security, going back through security a third time (I forgot to take off a rather large belt buckle), and after all of this it wasn’t till I went to the washroom that I realized I had left my Swiss Army knife in my coat pocket, which somehow went through the x-ray machine without being detected. So let me get this straight…200 milliliters of water is more dangerous then a freaking survival knife?!? The fuck? Weird.

So long story short, I find Kryden again by his gate. He was so broken up over loosing his one contact to the outside world, that he already found some new girl to flirt with. I’m in a weird way, so for the first time in my life, I intentionally cock-block the guy, not that he needed my help. I went out of my way to be as bizarre as possible and make mention of the fact he had no phone to be contacted by. I can really be an asshole if you sufficiently piss me off, take note.

Anyway, I get off my plane in New York. I switch on my phone and find that I have a text from Kryden’s sister asking why he won’t pick up his phone. I texted back that he lost it, which was a mistake. Kryden’s mother calls me for the second time in the history of ever trying to find her son. Kryden was going to St. Louis to visit a friend, instead of home to Denver, so they couldn’t see nor talk to him. They also thought he flew Wednesday. Weird.

So please Kryden, I know you don’t read this blog, but you also don’t check e-mail or Facebook, so this is my best shot at reaching you. Call home. Get your mom off my back. It is currently easier for her to reach me then you, and that terrifies me. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.


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