Dorito Fingers


Remember when we were young and we loved Doritos? Couldn’t get enough of the stupid things. Such cheap, flavorful corn chips and if there was anything we loved more then anything, it was licking that gross cheese substitute flavoring off our fingers. This looked gross to everyone, unless you were the person in question sucking all of that volatile, orange powder off of your ring and index.

So why do I bring this up? As some of you know, the Little Tyrant is still only seven years old, and has probably hit the peak of his love of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Today at lunch, after Tyrant polished his sandwich in a new land-speed record, he politely (ha, ha, ha) asked Mom if he could go get chips. He returned from the kitchen with the fateful red bag in hand and proceeded to dump what was left of the bag on his plate. Then he let himself loose on the rather large pile of orange.

Hear me when I say that I almost couldn’t keep my roast beef down, that this was one of the most disgusting things I have seen in quite sometime. Since it was the end of the bag, Tyrant was dealing with mostly crumbs and flavor powder. This required him to stuff his fingers inside of his hot, sticky mouth to properly digest the junk food. The Doritos orange powder can stick to anything, this effect is further aided by the saliva. Soon all of his fingers and the surrounding around his mouth were more orange then a traffic cone, It was like watching the spread impetigo in fast motion. Yuck.

I don’t know what the point of this blog post was. There is no punch line. But I probably just ruined your lunch, so there’s always that.


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